Hey Guys, Where Did Bob Go?

I used to think thirty was old. Once I was in my twenties, thirty didn’t seem that old anymore, and as the years passed, forty eventually took thirty’s place in my perception of old.  This has been the way I’ve mentally defined old for as long as I can remember, and that now that I’m fifty, when I hear that a sixty-year-old has passed away, I think, Oh no, and so young!

My father once told me that once you hit forty, the years begin to fly, and you wake up one day on your seventieth birthday. I also can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, “I don’t feel my age. I still feel like I’m in my twenties.” I never understood much of all that until now.

Time is a wily creature. As we go about our day-to-day lives, it refuses to rest. When we want it to slow down, it speeds up, and when we want it to hurry along, it prefers to take a seat on a park bench and file its fingernails. Regardless of whether we’re enjoying it, or hating it, time seems to be as elusive as that one guy who’s notorious for silently exiting functions without a goodbye, leaving the rest of the attendees asking, “Hey guys, where did Bob go?”

During 2019, I learned a few things about time:

I learned that I never seem to have enough of it to do all the things I want to do, and that it’s okay if I can’t fit everything in. My goal of 2,000 words a day when I’m working on a book isn’t always feasible while working a full-time job, taking care of my house and dog, marketing, blogging, and making time with family and friends. Instead of beating myself up for not meeting that goal, I changed the goal; I write every day, even if it’s only a hundred words, and I’m okay with that.

I learned that whoever said time disappears, wasn’t lying. During 2019, my son got his own place, started his first year of teaching, and turned twenty-six. Hey guys, where did Bob go?

I learned that for a very busy person, time is their most precious commodity, so when they offer any of it to me, I am aware of its value, I don’t waste it, and I don’t take it for granted.

I’ve also learned that some people just don’t respect my time, and the only way to keep them from sucking it all up, is by not allowing them to do so. I know someone who often finds herself with too much time, and if I let her, she’ll call me on the telephone after I’ve come home from work, and she’ll talk for hours. I really like this person, and I enjoy talking to her, but on a work-night when I am trying to be in bed before midnight, long conversations don’t work for me; so now when she calls and I don’t have much time, I cut it short, and ask her if we can get together on a day I’m off . . . and I no longer feel guilty about it.

I think the most important thing 2019 taught me about time is that I need to use it for things that matter, so I don’t have regrets later. After losing my cat this year, I often wish I had spent more time petting him or playing with him, and because I can’t go back and do those things, I find myself stopping what I’m doing to pet my dog and tell her how much I love her and what a good girl she is. I know that sounds cheesy (and it is), but she thinks it’s great.

As we head into 2020, my wishes for you in this last blog post of the decade are that you not only have a joyful and prosperous year, but that when you’re feeling happy, time will crawl by as slowly as a sloth, when you’re not, it will move at the speed of light, and that you never find yourself asking, “Hey guys, where did Bob go?”

HAPPY 2020!