Change

2019 is two days away. Once again, gym memberships will soar and members will have to wait their turn to use the machines. That will last a couple of months until New Year’s Resolutionists (yes, I think I made that word up) revert back to their 2018 habit of sitting on the couch, watching Netflix. Diets will start and end. People will stop gossiping until February when they hear a rumor that’s too juicy to not repeat. The intentions are there and they’re good, but New Year’s resolutions last about as long as the one little pig’s house of sticks. We try for a little while and then we go back to our old ways and for the most part, it’s no big deal. If I’m still carrying that extra ten pounds in December, it’s not hurting anyone.

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions because in the past, I’ve never stuck with them. If I decide to make a change, I have to start at the moment I make that decision. More importantly, I think hard about that change before I commit myself to it because I don’t want to start anything I can’t stick with. The most life-changing resolution I ever made was the decision to quit drinking. It wasn’t a New Year’s resolution; it was a September resolution. I’ve stuck with it for over ten years now and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. For alcoholics and drug addicts, there’s never a bad time to make a change.

For those of you who don’t know what my book is about, here’s a one sentence rundown: it’s about a girl who is being raised by her grandparents because her mother, a heroin addict, abandoned her. It isn’t published yet, but that’s in the works. I’ve blogged about alcoholism and addiction before, I’m doing it today, and will talk about it in the future, too. The fact that I blog about addiction and wrote a book about it, makes it fairly obvious that it’s a big deal to me…a really big deal. As we move into 2019, I wanted to write about some resolutions that were made during 2018. Some were successful, while others were not.

Making positive changes is always a good thing; it’s always important. But when it comes to addiction, the decision to make a change and the battle to maintain that change permanently, is literally a life or death fight. During the last few days of 2018, a young man, the son of a family friend, lost that fight. My heart breaks for the people who loved him, especially for his mother and his young son. It’s because of people like him that I write about alcoholism and addiction; I feel like we need to talk about it.

Also during 2018, two people I care about got sober. They both wanted it desperately. They wanted to find out how it feels to live life with a clear mind and see the world without blurred vision. They’ll both hit a year sober in 2019 and not only am I proud of them, I’m insanely happy for them. I can say from experience that the best years of their lives are just beginning.

There’s someone else I know who is battling a heroin addiction. After one failed attempt in 2018, he is going into 2019 clean and I pray that he stays that way. I have another friend who just got sober recently. He’s also in my prayers.

Even though we are heading into a new year, I don’t think we should wait to make important changes and if we do end up carrying our bad habits into 2019, we definitely shouldn’t wait until 2020 to ditch them. If there’s something in your life that needs to be changed, especially if it affects your health, your well-being, or your relationships with the people you love, don’t wait for that magical date of January 1st to make the change. I promise you…January 1st is no more magical than any other day of the year; my magic day–the day I got sober– just happened to fall on Labor Day.

As far as drug addiction goes, just like there’s no magical date to get clean, there’s also no magical solution to the problem itself. I think of it like I think of cigarettes: if you don’t want to go through the agony of giving up cigarettes, don’t ever pick one up and light it. Unfortunately, we can’t travel back in time and change our bad decisions. What we can do is talk about addiction, rather than shamefully sweeping it under the rug. I’ve never been proud of being an alcoholic, but I’m not ashamed of it, either–especially knowing that by being open about it, I’ve been able to help other alcoholics.

In 2019, while we are making positive changes in our own lives, let’s support each other and let people know that it’s okay to ask for help in making their own changes. Let’s pray for the people who are fighting battles with things like their health, an addiction, or anything else that may be causing them pain. And for those who have lost any of those life or death battles, let’s try to be there for the loved ones they left behind.

I truly believe that out of all of the New Year’s resolutions we’ll make this year, the decision to care for and show kindness and love to others will ultimately have the biggest impact, while also being the easiest one to keep.