Enough

I have to admit that a lot of the topics I end up writing about come from the posts that I see on Facebook.  Sometimes I see a post and I think, “Hmmm, that’s a good topic to write about,” but I want to think on it more, so I put it in my brain’s filing cabinet and let it sit there until I’ve got more to add to it.  This week’s topic has been filed away for almost a month.  

I recently came across two separate posts from two different people and both of them were of this nature:  This year, my main goal is to believe that I’m enough.  It always makes me a little sad to see something like that–to see that someone feels like they don’t measure up and that they’re not “enough.”  Then I think that if only those people could see what the rest of us see when we look at them, they’d realize they’re seeing things all wrong.  It seems to me that a lot of people are blind to the things that make them wonderfully unique; they look at themselves and see nothing more than a big pile of flaws.  

When I saw those posts, they went into the filing cabinet and it wasn’t until a few days ago that I found the rest of what I needed in order to write about this.  I was watching a special on Netflix about Lady Gaga.  Up until about a year ago, I didn’t really have an opinion about her; I neither liked nor disliked her.  Maybe it was the crazy stuff she wore that made her seem (to me) more like an act rather than an actual person.  It wasn’t until I saw a video of her singing to some children at a foster care center in Mexico, that I formed a solid opinion about her.  The video wasn’t an actual show or anything; in fact, she was squatted down to the children’s level, singing a cappella to them, and someone just happened to capture it on video.  As I watched the way she sang to the children, I knew how the Grinch must have felt when his heart “grew three sizes that day.”  So when the special on Netflix popped up among my viewing choices, I watched it.  

I hadn’t gotten that far into the show when she said something that stunned me.  She said that she had finally gotten to the point where she felt good about herself; that until recently, she’d always felt like she wasn’t pretty enough or talented enough.  Now, this is only my opinion, but I think she’s insanely talented and as far as “pretty?”  Good grief, the woman is freakin’ gorgeous.  Wow…I had just heard probably one of the most successful, talented women in the world admit that she never felt like she was enough.  My mind immediately went to the posts sitting in the file cabinet.  It went to two women who, like Lady Gaga, failed to see in themselves what the rest of the world sees.

After watching that special, I liked Lady Gaga even more.  I liked the fact that even though she has every reason to be arrogant, she isn’t.  She’s no stranger to bouts of insecurity, and maybe that’s a good thing.  Maybe those moments of self-doubt are what keep her humble.  I guess if you’re Lady Gaga, you need those moments to keep you grounded; but there’s only one Lady Gaga, so what are the rest of us supposed to do when we have those feelings that we’re not enough?

I say go ahead and let yourself have those feelings…but only for a total of twenty seconds, tops.  Then think of someone who you believe is nothing less than remarkable…someone who has every reason in the world to be arrogant, yet isn’t.  Once you’ve thought of that person, remember that they also have moments of insecurity; there are times that they (like you, me, and everyone on the planet) look at themselves and see only flaws. 

It’s okay to have moments of insecurity.  If you didn’t, you’d be one of those egotistical a-holes that nobody likes and wants to be around, and who wants to be like that?  I sure don’t.  The key word in that first sentence is “moments.”  Allow yourself to have those brief moments, then shake them off and remind yourself that even Lady Gaga has had times where she looked in the mirror and thought, “I’m not pretty enough.  I’m not talented enough.”  Those times that she’s had a skewed vision of herself can never change the facts: not only is she pretty enough, she’s breathtakingly beautiful.  Not only is she talented enough, she’s one of the most talented people in the world.  Not only is she enough…she’s more than enough.  

And so are you.