Things my momma taught me
“Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.” Ah, the famous line that probably everyone in the world has heard. It’s so famous, you still hear people say it almost 25 years later. Of course, such wise words could only originate from the equivalent of a sage…someone’s mother. In this case, it was Forrest Gump’s mother.
When I got up this morning and took my dog out, I was pleasantly surprised to discover how cool it was outside. I even ended up putting on a long-sleeved shirt. Fall officially arrived on September 22nd, but when it’s 80+ degrees out and summer refuses to move on, I don’t care what the calendar claims as the official date…if it’s hot outside, it ain’t fall.
Now that the temperature has caught up with the calendar, it’s time to do fall things. One of my favorite fall things is comfort food, so I went to the grocery store and got all of the stuff I needed to make Brunswick Stew. There’s a big pot of it simmering on the stove right now and boy, oh boy, does my house smell good. I make Brunswick Stew using the same recipe my mom had, so every time I make it, I think of her as I dice potatoes, boil chicken, and throw a few bay leaves into the pot. Today was no exception.
Although I use the same recipe my mom used, I don’t have the one she wrote down (a family friend does, though), and she never actually taught me how to make it. She died when I was eleven (cancer sucks), so I hadn’t really reached the age of learning to cook, let alone having an interest in it. Plus, she was sick off and on for a lot of those eleven years, so the things she did teach me were limited to the days she felt good. Because of that, there are a bunch of things that I learned from my older sister, from friends, or just had to figure out on my own…things like makeup, hair, clothes…girly things in general, I guess. I never quite mastered a lot of those things, but that’s okay. I feel like the things my mom took the time to teach me during her good days were the things she felt would serve me best in life, and now that I’m older, I think she was right.
One of those things was The Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That one really sticks out in my mind as one of the things she said often. It’s a good thing to be reminded of because it helps me to decide if I should go ahead with what I’m about to say or do to someone. In stopping to consider how I would feel if someone said or did something to me, I’m forced to think about how that thing will affect someone else. If we apply that idea to every interaction we have with people, there would probably be a lot more peace & harmony in this world. So I’m glad I learned The Golden Rule instead of how to do a French braid.
She also taught me that patience is a virtue. Patience is a tough one sometimes, so when I find myself in line at the grocery store and the cashier is incredibly slow, or when I’m stuck in traffic (which has been A LOT lately), I’ll hear her say, “Patience is a virtue,” and I’m reminded that there’s no sense in getting myself all worked up over something I can’t control; all that does is raise my blood pressure and make me anxious, and neither of those things is good. I’m thankful that she taught me how important it is to be patient, instead of teaching me how to read a sewing pattern.
Another one was, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” Too often, I find myself wanting to plan around an outcome that hasn’t reached fruition, and since that’s a perfect way to end up disappointed, I have to stop myself. We think about what we’ll do or how things will be: when we get that job, when that check comes, when this happens, or when that happens. But nothing is guaranteed, so I’m glad she told me not to count those unhatched chickens, rather than teaching me how to dress stylishly.
“Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.” Chickens first and now eggs? Well, she was raised on a farm, so it seems fitting that a lot of the sayings she repeated were based on farm-life metaphors. This particular saying could apply to so many things, but I mainly see it as trying to be well-rounded. I remember when my son was about seven or eight, he wanted to be a major league ballplayer. At the time, he believed that anyone who was going to be a major league ballplayer didn’t need to do well in school. I explained to him that just because he liked baseball and was good at it, there was no guarantee that he would always like it and be good at it, so he should still try hard in school. Later, he stopped playing ball and instead got into acting and playing guitar. Even though his attitude towards school had improved, it still wasn’t high on his list of priorities. Again, I told him what my momma taught me…I told him that just like with baseball, acting and music might not pan out, so he needed to have some of his eggs in the school basket. It’s a good thing he ended up redistributing those eggs because he eventually changed his mind again and decided to become a teacher–something he definitely needed school for. Plus, he’s well-rounded…he knows how to act, how to play ball, and he plays guitar. I’m happy for both him and me that my mom taught me the whole “eggs in one basket” thing instead of teaching me something different that, in the grand scheme of things, really wouldn’t matter.
It’s interesting how something as simple as a change in the temperature can set off a chain reaction of thoughts, feelings, and memories. Not only did a cool, fall morning end up with me making a big ole’ pot of Brunswick stew, it reminded me of some of the things my momma taught me. It’s these kinds of things that our mothers instill in us that play a big part in making us who we are. Sure, there are other things like recipes, traditions, and brushing three times a day, but those don’t serve us as well as the bits of wisdom that our mothers share with us. Because even though it would be nice to know how to do a French braid, I think it does me better to remember things like treating people how I want to be treated, not banking on something that hasn’t even happened yet, and that life is like a box of chocolates, so we never know what we’re gonna get.